Wild Pitches

At this point in time I feel that it is finally safe to conclude that the launch of Sports Net LA has been a disappointment. Time Warner Cable paid a record price for the rights to carry and distribute the all-Dodger channel, but it would seem that other carriers cannot justify paying their asking price for a channel built around a single “show” (live Dodger games) and little else of any interest to a broad audience. Dedicated postgame coverage and repeats of old games are obviously not being recognized in this marketplace as compelling content. What I would like to propose is that SNLA expand their lineup to include additional original scripted and unscripted programming to appeal to a wider subscriber base. This tactic has seemingly done wonders for Netflix, Hulu and Amazon (all of whom offer no live sports programming to compliment these shows and charge more than the reported $5 per month that TWC is asking from DirecTV and other cable/satellite providers). I have taken the liberty of developing several pilot pitches (as with all of my puns this one was of course intended):

Throughout his tenure as Dodger General Manager Ned Colletti was mercilessly bullied, mocked and harassed online. After accepting a promotion to Senior Advisor Ned now has the last laugh and time to pursue other interests…such as vengeance. In this brazen, unscripted hidden camera series follow Ned Colletti as he confronts strangers at their places of business and gives them frank, no holds barred assessments of how they’re doing their jobs. The tables have turned, how does it feel now that you’re on THE HOT SEAT?

As a former player and current manager Don Mattingly knows a thing or two about performing under pressure and intense scrutiny. Larry King has been married 18 times. Together they have the experience to answer even your most sensitive sex and relationship questions. They’re live in studio and operators are standing by. For a good time call 1-900- THE HOT SEAT.

To Bea or not to Bea? That is the question that is asked on this exciting new reality competition series where legendary Dodger Stadium organist Nancy Bea searches for the next generation of stadium organist. Will you make Nancy beam or will you get Nancy beat? If you can’t take the Nancy heat, get out of THE HOT SEAT.

She’s a little bit stat geek. He’s a little bit old school troll. In this hilarious new comedy love conquers ball when baseball’s first female general manager also happens to be her manager’s second wife. They say “OPS splits” attract, but whether at home or at the stadium someone is always going to be on THE HOT SEAT.

Before the days of StubHub the secondary ticket market was like the Wild West. In this 1990s set coming of age dramedy we meet Erica Bay, a typical teen trying to juggle school, experiencing all of the things that in 25 years only 90s kids will remember, work as a stadium usher and a secret double life as an underground ticket broker/scalper/thief/counterfeiting kingpin. Show her your ticket stub and she’ll show you to THE HOT SEAT.

Detective Richard Ecktive thought he was getting too old for this shit…literally. Just days before settling into a quiet retirement this Private Dick got the one call that could thrust him back into everyone’s business: Deuces Wild, a powerful new performance enhancing drug, is threatening the sanctity of baseball. Detectable only in feces Dueces Wild is like nothing the sports world has ever seen. Now, backed by the expressed written consent of the office of the commissioner of baseball and the Joint Drug Agreement Det. Ecktive and the elite sample collectors of the Fecal Activity Recovery Team must get to the bottom of this mess in this thrilling new crime procedural drama and discover the dirty little secrets that lurk beneath…
( •_•) 
( •_•)>⌐■-■ 
(⌐■_■)
THE HOT SEAT.
YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

To any Time Warner Cable Executives who may be reading this: it is now you who are on the proverbial hot seat.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s